Saturday, September 22, 2012

These side effects really suck....

    My feet are totally numb. My calfs are semi-numb. My finger tips are numb.  I've almost fallen 3 times today.   I'd better just stay on my butt. Other side effects I have - Pain, swelling, and redness of the mouth, tongue, and throat “Coated tongue”.Numbness or tingling feeling in the hands or feet ,Muscle cramps,Loss of balance,Difficulty buttoning buttons or picking up objects, Decreased awareness of heat or cold in fingertips and toes. Cracked and peeling skin. Bloody and runny nose. Darkening of the fingers and nails. Loss of appetite, change in taste buds. Weakness, and feeling cold.  All around Ditsyness (Chemo-Brain).
   In ways the FOLFOX regimen has been easy on me.  I still have my hair, haven't thrown up. I have minimal nausea. My blood tests have always come back good. Along with my blood pressure and other things, all normal.
   The worst side effects are the neuropathy that causes the nerve damage which equals numbness, and the fatigue.  The first few days after chemo I just want to sleep 24/7.
    I have already been taken off the oxaliplatin.  I am seriously thinking of having the oncologist take me off of the 5-FU also.  I only am scheduled for one more dose, but I cannot even think about this numbness getting worse.
    When I went in for chemo on Tuesday, Dr. S (my oncologist) told me he has been talking to Dr.H (the radiologist) about going ahead with the Y-90 radiation treatment.  I will know more on Oct 2nd when I go get my LAST chemo treatment of this regimen, #12!  I think I may throw a party. The Dr. has promised to make it easier on me for the holidays.  I am assuming (which I shouldn't do) that I will be kept on the avastin for quite a while.
 

Monday, September 17, 2012

Lucky...


I’m one of the luckiest people I know.
Uh, Lisa?  Um, you have stage IV incurable cancer.  Remember that?
Yes…  yes, I do.
Know what else I have?

A wonderful husband that I love with all of my heart, and he loves me back.
2 sons, who are more than awesome.
2 beautiful daughters, who I adore.
More wonderful friends than I can count.
Church members and friends who bring me and my family meals on my chemo weeks.
My hair.
My sanity (this is questionable..lol)
The love of crafting.
An ear for good music (well I think it's good)
A house that is a home, and I'd rather be there than anywhere else.
Animals that keep me company.
A job that has been so wonderful and flexible with me.
Hope for a cure.

Even though I may die (of course every is eventually) before I see old age, I am so glad for the things that I have, and the life that I have lived.  And when It is my time, I have a son, a father and lots of other folks waiting to greet me. And then I will be the one waiting for those I left behind. I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to leave my husband and kids. I don't want to cause anyone pain, or leave Jared to raise our kids alone. Therefore,I have no plans to die in the near future.  I need at least another 39 years, maybe more ;)



Thursday, September 6, 2012

I can't believe it's September....

Crazy how fast times goes by.  I'm so glad the kids are in school :) and that fall is on it's way.  I love fall. I'm glad I'm here to enjoy another one.

I get my lovely fanny pack off today. I'm so glad. Now I have a week and a half to recover from Chemo until I have another dose.  Two more left of this regimen. Then another CAT scan. I am hoping to have more good news.

My hands and feet are still numb.  The Dr. is considering putting me on Cymbalta. It's actually an anti depressant, but for some reason it works for nerve damage.  It's up to me. I could have had it this time but I really don't like taking pills. But I may have to do it.  Sometimes I feel like Frankenstein when I walk. My feet feel so heavy, and fat...but they aren't.  They are actually looking thin and bone-y. I lost a little more weight, but my red blood cells are getting better. My white blood cells are fine. Blood pressure is great.  I really have no serious side effects at all.  Which is a huge blessing.  And best of all....I still haven't thrown up.  I hate throwing up with a passion.

The ladies from the church bring me dinners from Tuesday to Friday on my Chemo weeks.  It really is a huge blessing not having to worry about making dinner when I am so drained.  And it's nice to see people who genuinely care about me.  People that I don't expect come out of the woodwork.  And then there are some people who I thought would be a great support that I don't even hear from.  It's interesting what you learn about people.  But I do know that I have a great support system and some wonderful friends.  I wish there was something else I could do besides saying Thank you.

Jared has been wonderful throughout this whole thing.  I don't know what I would do without him.  The kids are doing good.  Joshua is working two jobs, Dallin is in hunting mode and will be until the end of the year.  He is saving up from his bird feeding job to buy a bigger bow. Baylee is loving 6th grade and is going to be cheerleading. Tyleigh is loving her teacher and enjoying being with her "crew" at school.  I still haven't taken back to school pictures.  I should get on that.

We are also so glad that football season is here again.  We love college football.  GO BSU!

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Countdown to Chemo #10

   So it's Saturday.  Feeling pretty good except for the cold that someone brought to me.  I guess people just don't realize they need to keep their distance from me if they are sick.  My immune system is compromised enough without someone bringing me germs.  I make the kids wash their hands or use hand sanitizer as soon as they walk through the door.

   The numbness is driving me batty!  My feet and hands don't want to work like I want them to and it gets aggravating.  I have some weird things that happen to me too, that have to do with Chemo I hope.  Like from the bottom of my head down my back my body does this thing like I have the chills but minus the goose bumps.  It's odd and hard to describe, but I am going to try and explain it to my oncologist on Tuesday.   And I'm numb other places too.  Like like my butt cheeks....LOL  And sometimes my tongue.  It makes it so things don't taste right.  That really bites.

    The boys are hunting again, so it's just the girls and I.  It's fun with just the girls, but I miss my boys.  I will be glad when they get something.

   But life is good.  No more complaining, at least for the day :)

There is one boy here...my puppy Joey (or Joe Joe)...LOL

I'm going try going back to work on the 10th.  I hope my brain works well enough to remember how to help the customers ;)